Why Getting Caught Watching Porn Is The Best Thing That Can Happen.

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Let’s face it, pornography is a shameful thing. Most men know it (and women too). But no matter how many times you ask God for forgiveness, and vow never to do it again, you fail again. And one of the reasons why it perpetuates itself in your life is because it is a secret struggle. That’s right. Secret. Most people in your church, at your job, and even in your home don’t know this is sinful problem in your life. And, it is hard for you to talk about it because, well, it’s shameful. You know its wrong. You hate it when you watch it. You feel guilty often for watching it. But guess what? Since no one knows about it, you continue the battle on your own, thinking you can defeat this monumental beast by yourself! And when you do talk about it with others, it is usually spoken about in cryptic form where you kind of mention lust at a glance, without specifics, and without any real plan to confess the poisonous fruit that it is producing in your life. It is because of this, I highly recommend one of two things that should happen if you want to begin the path to liberty. These two are not the end-all-be-all to end pornographic desire, but I guarantee you’ll be moving in the right direction. 1) Get Caught 2) Confess (to your spouse, or a godly and mature saint).

Get Caught

When David desired Bathsheba, he did so in secret. No doubt, David probably thought he was never going to get caught. Sin is just deceitful like that (Ephesians 4:22). And after he had her husband Uriah killed in battle, he probably thought the trouble he got himself into by impregnating Bathsheba was officially buried (pun intended). The Scripture says that God was displeased, and he sent Nathan the prophet to expose his sin (2 Samuel 12:1). It was necessary after exposing David’s sin that the consequences would be listed against him. Then, Nathan says “For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun” (2 Sam. 12:12). David was busted! And it was a good thing too. Get was being merciful to him by doing so. And David’s reaction to this was perfect. He says, “I have sinned against the LORD.” He later pens Psalm 51 in what is probably the best, written example of genuine confession and godly sorrow that leads to repentance in all of the Psalms.

All that to say this. I pray that God will have mercy on you, and you get caught! Not trying to sound mean or harsh, but it’s the best thing for you. Really! If you think for one second that keeping this porn addiction a secret and taking it on by yourself is something you can handle, you’re deceived. And sin, no matter what it is, loves to hide. It likes to keep things secret. That’s where it draws its strength. In the nuturing environment of darkness. John 3:20 states that those that do evil don’t come to light so that their deeds aren’t exposed. Proverbs 9:17 has the adulterous women telling us that bread eaten in secret is pleasurable. Paul cries out to us in Ephesians 5:11-14 to take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them with light because shameful to even mention some of those things done in darkness. The point being, while God can and does use shame to cause you repent, shame is often a dungeon that sin uses to keep people from confession and true repentance. Someone walking in on you while watching porn, discovering your internet history, asking you directly if you watch pornography, or whatever the circumstances that causes you to be exposed is the BEST thing that can happen to you! And I say this with as much love and earnestness I can muster. If you don’t get busted now, your cries for freedom when you’re lying in the pool of your own tears, after once again failing to avoid the one thing that has this immense grip on your life, will grow weaker. In other words, while your desire to turn away from this sin may be genuine, the fact that you are attempting conquer this sin in the very same, secretive environment where it thrives spells certain shipwreck of your faith. You will eventually give in. You will lose.

But if getting caught is not something you want God to do to you, you don’t have to wait to expose this sin. There is another option. But before I dive into that, I want to quickly say something that is of the utmost importance.

The Gospel

The bible says that when we are born again, we will hate our sin (Romans 7:15). Do you hate this sin? I mean, truly? 1 John 2:29 states that one of the ways we know if we are truly born again is that we love to practice righteousness in our life because we are born again. Do you desire to love God and live holy before Him? One of the promises that we are given as Christians is that Jesus’ victory in taking the punishment for our sin is that He destroyed the power that sin has over our lives, and that He that started a good work in you will finish it (Philippians 1:6). Do you believe that? Do you truly believe that Jesus took God’s wrath and satisfied the demands of justice that are against us by enduring a painful and agonizing death so that we can be free from sin? And be given a new nature that loves Him and hates pornography? And that only through the life-giving power of the Holy Spirit who causes you to repent and trust Jesus for salvation that you are granted the gift of everlasting life? The gospel is the power of God unto salvation for all who believe (Romans 1:16)! For our sake, Christ became sin, who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21)!  If you don’t truly believe this, this battle is lost even before it has begun. Getting caught and confessing your sins to someone else in the hopes of modifying your behavior is a dead gospel. It is in the life-changing work of the gospel of Jesus Christ where true freedom is found. I pray that if you have never experienced the reality of knowing Christ, and the power of His resurrection to justify you and change your sinful nature, that you would go before Him today broken and contrite, so that you might confess and repent of your sins to Him alone who has the power to forgive sins and reconcile you to Himself.

Confess

If you’re married, I wouldn’t wait another second to tell your spouse about this sin in your life. Be open and honest with her/him. Don’t criticize them if they get angry, frustrated, or disappointed. Accept the failure. Admit the defeat. That’s what David did when he was confronted about his sin. And if this isn’t the first time you’ve told them, tell them again. Ask them to periodically check in on you. Give them every password. Don’t be alone with any electronic device. Maybe take a long break away from the internet, television, and radio. Pray together. Read together. Seek godly counsel together. And most importantly, communicate! There are a multitude of gates and parameters you both can place in your lives to fortify yourselves against this horrendous sin. But the central and most important key is to not keep this a secret! Even when it is a known issue. Keep bringing it up! Not naggingly, but out of genuine desire to extinguish this idolatrous fire. And if you’re honest with yourself, God sees you every time you watch it. The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, watching the evil and the good (Proverbs 15:3). And “no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:13). So while I am exhorting you to abstain from secrecy, remember that if you’re not worried about God and how he feels about pornography, you’re probably not going to give much care to being ashamed and open about it to your spouse.

And if you’re not married, then you must find a godly saint(s) that you trust will pray for you, check in on you, and will provoke you to holiness. Tell them about your failure to be holy. Let them know your desire to no longer fight this alone. Hopefully one of the person(s) you trust is an elder or mature counselor in the church that can provide godly wisdom and a course of action. But whoever you choose, also remember that they are not a suitable substitute for genuine conviction from the Holy Spirit. The idea of an “accountability partner” is not what I’m proposing here. This sin is a heart issue. Period! If someone wants to watch porn bad enough, they will find a way. This is only a means for you to expose this sin in the hopes that you can deprive it of the strength that it so powerfully gains in secret. Just like the most disgusting of creatures and fungus tend to thrive in the darkest and dampest areas, so does this sin fester and thrive. And it isn’t until the area is uncovered, exposed, and aired out do the creatures scatter and the fungus dies.

Conclusion

If you are a man, you know the internal battle we must fight daily against lust. But now this isn’t just a man thing. Women are not facing this issue to. And as I already stated, this is a heart issue. So if you want to gain an upper hand, don’t allow this secret sin to flourish any longer in the dark recesses of your heart and on your hard drive. And since we are dealing with the internet here (for the most part), the data is already collected somewhere when you are searching these sites. So nothing is exactly private no matter what the “private search” option says on your phone or desktop. But what we need to remember is that if it God is who we aim to please, then we must go before Him in confession, faith, and repentance in order to overcome this, with a strong follow up by making no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14). And that we must expose this sin through communion with Christ, gospel-centered fellowship, communicating with our spouses, and availing ourselves of the means of grace God has provided in the Scriptures. My wife and I resolved to take these steps to protect ourselves long ago. By the grace of God, I pray that you will do it in yours.

 

– Until we go home

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No Children – Not Just a Burden for Women

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“I’m spotting.” I had no idea how those simple words could pack such an emotional punch. Or how about this one – “It’s negative again.” Maybe you don’t know these words intimately. Maybe your bad news comes in the form of a sigh or disappointed grin as you ride the same nauseating roller coaster again, hoping that this next time is your last. But when you find out you’re not pregnant again, no matter what the package looks like, the contents are the same. And as much as you try to remain optimistic, hopeful, and thankful to God, your heart tends to migrate to the land of doubt, disbelief, and spiritual angst.

If you haven’t figured out by now, I am no stranger to the struggle of wanting children and not being given any. My wife and I have had a few diagnoses, and have accomplished corrective surgeries. We have a known condition that doesn’t make it impossible to have kids, but it does make it harder. We have been trying for 14 years now. We have experienced several miscarriages, including one ectopic pregnancy,  and one chemical pregnancy (that we know of). We have tried medical treatments and other strategies (never IVF though). And the more my wife and I endure doctor’s appointments and medications, the more my heart aches for her. But not only that, what was once something that burdened me vicariously through my wife has become mine to bear.

As a young believer, there were times I would cry out to God and ask why He hasn’t given us children. Was it my sin? Is this only supposed to last a few years? Should I expect to have children at a really old age like Sarah and Abraham? These questions came in waves. Now that I’m older, the tides have risen high enough in my soul where I now feel the depths of sorrow that my wife has probably felt all along. For some men, this kind of feeling may be foreign, or even short lived. But I know there are other men out there who may be facing this burden more immensely and are reluctant to share. I want to be the first to say, you’re not alone. I want everyone to know that, as men, we do deal with these kinds of emotions when it comes to children. It doesn’t mean we are less of a man if we do. And we should endeavor to seek the LORD and the prayers of our fellow man as we renew our minds through this kind of trial. We would be less of a [godly] man if we didn’t.

One thing that God has taught me in all this is to remain thankful for what He has given me, and not what He has not. I intend to write more details about some Scriptures and life lessons God has brought to my wife and I because of this prohibition to have children, but this initial blog is meant to bring out the fact that God has given me sooooooo much despite the one desire that feels like a throbbing, stubbed toe within my spirit. It might be painful, and it has the propensity to attract all of my attention when I’m not faithfully exercising thanksgiving unto God. However, it is also not the god of my life. It is a genuine desire, no doubt. And it has become an even greater desire as time passes. But when I look upon the gift(s) of my wonderful marriage, my occupation, my health, my finances, and above all, my eternal salvation, to not cry out “thank you!” to my God, who has taken me out of darkness and has adopted me as His child, would be more of curse to my soul than not having children.

This short blog may not sound encouraging, but I wanted the men out there who are struggling with the burden of not having any children to know that God has blessed you with so many things already. I know what it is like to want children. Bad! I share this burden with you. And whether you have been dealing with this burden for a few years or decades, I am placing my hand on your shoulder, asking you to pray and share with other men you trust your struggle. And while you do that, meditate upon the immeasurable riches of His kindness toward you (Ephesians 4:2-7), knowing that you deserved nothing good except hell, yet He gave the greatest He could give, Himself (Galatians 2:20). And He did so on your behalf so that you could receive something greater than children – fellowship with Him.

-Until we go home

Welcome to Our Common Salvation

All of Christian life is founded upon the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Understanding that through a proper biblical framework will affect how we live, pray, read the Scriptures, fellowship with other believers and God, & preach the gospel. And if we are truly saved and strive to believe the essential truths of Scripture, we will walk worthy of our calling (Col 1:9-13; 2 Thess. 1:11-12) and be ready to give a proper defense of the faith (2 Tim. 2:25). But this salvation is not a salvation to be walked on our own. By God’s grace, He has blessed us with the means of grace by which we can edify one another and provoke each other to righteousness via the local church (Acts 2:42; Heb 10:24). I pray that this blog will do just that. And that by sharing this blog with your family, friends, and loved ones what is written here, that they will come to know the beauty of salvation by grace, being at peace with God, as well as grounded and edified in the Scriptures so that we can have assurance through Christ and fellowship with one another. Welcome to our common salvation.

 

Super Bowl Outreach Houston 2017

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Super Bowl Outreach is an evangelistic endeavor hosting by Sports Fan Outreach International, which is headed up by Bill Adams. Every year 100+ people go out in teams of 10-15 to preach the gospel on the streets during one of the biggest events in America. Thousands upon thousands flood the streets in order to cheer on thier favorite team, and God’s people will be there to deliver the greatest news they will ever hear.

This year coming year in Houston, I will be a team leader. Here is the list of leaders that will be participating in this event.  Please pray for them and us as we prepare. Pray for revival and tat God would protect us as we proclaim the good news to the public.

Rethinking Conditionalism (Part 3) – Eternal Punishment

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The distance that certain conditionalists will go to deny the obvious linguistic nature of eternal conscious torment is very disturbing. While I have already revealed in Part 2a why the fire is categorically different and in and of itself eternal, AND how it is semantically linked as the instrument and reason why those that are in it will continually endure eternal punishment (since it is indicative of God’s wrath, read Part 2b), the twisting of Scripture continues. The basic premise is that eternal punishment is not an eternal “punishING” but one of eternal “punishMENT.” In essence, what is proposed is that the eternal punishment that Jesus speaks of in Matthew does not refer to the process of being punished for an eternity, but that Jesus’ administration of the punishment (in their case the punishment is death/annihilation brought about by fire) is what is meant by eternal punishment. Therefore, that punishment which He administers lasts forever.

There are several personal observations that I must bring to the forefront before I address the linguistic/scriptural issue of this argument. Continue reading

Black Lives Matter, Darwinian Evolution, and Black Liberation Theology

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I urge you to take the time to watch this video. It explains the roots of the Black Lives Matter Movement (BLM) which follows a doctrine called Black Liberation Theology. In the beginning of the video, I briefly touch on the hypocrisy of those that support BLM and yet believe in Darwinian Evolution, but then afterward thoroughly expose the history of this movement by dissecting an interview of what is deemed the founder of Black Liberation Theology – James Cone.

Take a seat, turn on your brain, because this one is going to require a lot of your attention. Please share this with other Christians and non-Christians alike.

-Until we go home

Click link to watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP4dhE08KK0

 

Not Everyone Can Be The Mouth

This article contains an excerpt that was taking from my book, Apocity: The Greatest Omission which can now be downloaded for free.

This portion of the book is emphasizing the true meaning behind 1 Corinthians 12, and how this passage cannot be used as means to say that  evangelism is the “mouth” of the body, and therefore, seeing that we have differing roles/gifts, not everyone can be the mouth. Sadly, there are variations to this excuse.


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The idea that not everyone can be a consistent witness because they are not “the mouth” is also wrongly pulled out of 1 Corinthians 12. I have actually heard men (more often pastors and teachers within the congregation) say “not everyone can be the mouth.” In other words, we are not all gifted with the gift of evangelism, and the mouth is the metaphor they use to describe those that do have it. Once again, this is urban legend, and I will clear up this confusion.

When you look at 1 Corinthians 12, right from the get go, in verse 1 Paul clearly says, “now concerning spiritual gifts.” This is a good clue that Paul is about to clarify some things for the Corinthian church. This issue with spiritual gifts and the divisions within the church was one of the reasons Paul wrote 1 Corinthians in the first place. In verse 4 he mentions how there are “diversities of the gifts” that come from the same Spirit. Verse 11 reveals how the Spirit passes out gifts as He wills (This challenges those who think that you have to speak in tongues as proof that you have received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. See Chapter 5). Then, in verse 12, Paul begins to emphasize the unity of the body not only because we are all partakers of His Spirit through salvation (v13), but also because of how the diversity of the members affect the unity of that body. In other words, Paul is trying to give us an illustration that even though there are different gifts within the body of Christ, these divisions of gifts do not mean we are divided as a body. We are unified together by the Spirit, who distributes these gifts, and one gift is not more important than the other in the grand plan of the Church. Are you following? If not, this next part may be harder for you to grasp.

When you look at the metaphor that Paul uses for the body, he repeatedly gives us clues as to what he is trying to get across to the Corinthian church. In verse 15 he says, “If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,’ is it therefore not of the body” (Emphasis added). He asks the same questions concerning another body part in verse 16. Verse 21 he says, “And the eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you;’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’” Once again, Paul seems to be hinting at something here, and in verse 22 he gets to his point: “… those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary.” So basically Paul is trying to say that every member of the body is “necessary” no matter what gift, no matter what background (v13), and no matter how weak one seems to be (v23-24). Paul has said all this so that we realize that everyone within the body should need one another and that we should benefit from each other’s gifts, strengths, weakness, and backgrounds (v25). I might have been very general with my exegesis of this text but my purpose is not to get to the small details (that would be a whole other chapter), but to make some observations that I believe will squash this idea that evangelism is a gift, specifically here, “the mouth.”

If you are one to believe that not everyone can be the mouth (insinuating the mouth being a spiritual gift), or you have heard this from someone and think it is a valid statement, then here are some points to consider. 1) Where in this chapter does it specifically mention evangelism? The urban legend that evangelism is a gift still applies here too, not just Ephesians 4. Also, if you are saying that not everyone
can be the mouth, then you have to show me from 1 Corinthians 12 how believing this is in any way a “get out of witnessing free” card, because that is not Paul’s intent in this particular chapter of Corinthians. 2) Paul did not mean for this chapter to be used as a cop out to not preach the gospel. If you remember what I said in the previous paragraph, Paul’s main concern was unity. There seemed to be divisions in the church for various reasons, and the insinuation that Paul gives in numerous verses is that some believed that there were others that were not needed, or that they were not a part of the body because they seemed weaker or less honorable. There might be more background to this, but the main point is that Paul was more specifically targeting the need for everyone within the body and for every spiritual gift, rather than just emphasizing certain ones over the other. 3) Where does “not being the mouth” come into this metaphor? If you read this chapter carefully, when Paul used the metaphor of the body it wasn’t for us to figure out which body part we are (or think we are), it was to help us understand the importance of unity within a human body and relate that to the body of Christ. This was his main point! It is so absurd when I hear people call this person a foot, or that person the hand, or evangelism the mouth. This is not what Paul is saying! 4) When was the last time you did something without all body parts involved? If evangelism is the mouth, does that mean I don’t use my hands or my feet to preach? The Bible talks about feet being beautiful for preaching the gospel (Romans 10:15), so does this mean not everyone can be the feet either? Do I need someone who is the arms carry me to my corner to pass out tracts because I am not gifted in doing it myself? I am being very caustic for a reason. I have become so sorrowfully burdened about these vain attempts to explain away our responsibility to preach that it has caused me great spiritual distress to see professing believers continually making urban legends, like not being a mouth, a popular excuse. The nature of these excuses call into question the salvation of many who call themselves believers (a topic we will explore in the next chapter).

I can understand that there are persons within the body who are skilled in certain areas in which others are not. For instance, there are men and women who fly missionaries to their destination for the glory of God. These saints risk their lives to fly over dangerous areas to do  amazing things for God. Here is my question though: Just because they metaphorically can be the arms that carry missionaries where they need to go, does that remove their responsibility to preach to the lost themselves? Just because my primary job is “an arm” (I don’t actually believe that, just proving a point) does that mean I don’t have a mouth? If anything, anyone who is supporting evangelism efforts would see the importance of evangelism and would feel the obligation to preach themselves. This example goes for those who mow lawns for the church, who do the finances, those who usher, teenagers in youth group, deacons, pastors, and the list goes on! Your primary duty within the local church includes evangelism. Evangelism is not a secondary duty; it is the indivisible infrastructure of your calling as a Christian!

At this point, I feel it is necessary to say this. As I previously said in Chapter 2, I understand that the roles that God has given within the local church are for us to be perfected and conform to the image of Christ. I am not blind to the reality of our weakness, nor do I think that each person’s gifting is unimportant. I know that pastors have a part, deacons, leaders, congregations, members, etc.; all play an important part in the whole of the universal church of Christ. What the revelation of Scripture seems to imply, however, is that none of that infringes upon our call to be faithful in our witness. None of it! There is no such gift of evangelism and there are no Scriptures that we can use to justify this position. If we refuse to accept this reality, then gross apocity among many local churches will continue. And I do not know about how you, reader, may feel about it, but I think God is weary of it.

 

-Until we go home

He Does Too

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When you’re feeling lonely, remember, he does too.

When you’re feeling depressed, remember, he does too.

When you’re feeling your inadequacies, remember, he does too.

When you get unjustly angry, remember, he has too.

When you get convicted for mistreating your wife, remember, he has too.

When you feel like you’ve failed your children, though doing your best, remember, he has too.

When you make a serious mistake, remember, he will too.

When you forget something important, remember, he will too.

When you fail to be graceful, remember, he will too.

And on Sunday, when you see him stepping up to the pulpit, thunderously teaching and preaching about sin, the gospel, and how he desperately needs God and His grace, just remember, you do too.

Pray for your pastor.

-Until we go home

A Devastating Question for Lifestyle Evangelists

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If you have followed any site that affirms gospel-centered theology, you have already run across mounds upon mounds of reasons why lifestyle evangelism is unbiblical. We’ve expounded, extrapolated, and exegeted this to death in order to reveal why trying to win souls by simply just living your life before the unsaved is plainly unbiblical. But the one thing we have failed to do is teach how to engage a person that believes we should simply let our good works shine before men, and then be ready to give an answer for the reason of the hope that lies within you when they ask you.

I like to keep the target of an article directly in my gaze. Continue reading